We should perhaps be grateful that Joseph Kosuth’s favourite recipe is admirably simple and straightforward. The great conceptualist could easily have presented us with a recipe, a photograph of a recipe and a dictionary definition of a recipe. We would then have had to take a photograph of a photograph of a recipe to illustrate it. And then we’d have disappeared in a puff of dizzying conceptual metalogic. But instead, he offers us the breakfast of hairy champions, albeit a Sassenach version complete with fruit, cinnamon and maple syrup. A Glasgow granny would not approve – of the sweetened porridge. The conceptual art that questions the nature of art she would no doubt take in her stride.

½ cup of biological, organic small oat flakes
⅓ cup of water
⅔ cups of raw milk
pinch of salt

Put all the ingredients in a pan, place on a low heat and let the mixture putter for about 5 mins. Take off the heat and add natural organic maple syrup and a dollop of butter. Once the butter has melted, add some cold raw milk or cream. Serve with small, organic blueberries and/or a portion of Grape Nuts, and/or half a sliced banana, sprinkled generously with cinnamon.