Three females wearing air hostess clothing
Air Europe 1970s.
(Image credit: Photography by Philippe Vogelenzang)

Air stewardesses are women with serious altitude. Their uniforms appeal because of the combination of authority and subservience. Their outfits, like all the best uniforms, bespeak manners, know-how, discipline and restraint. 

As sloppy, undisciplined, un-uniformed civilians with no stern code of conduct, we dream of being the person seduced by the uniform during an unscheduled lapse in procedure... or to be the person engendering that seduction. It’s the promise of something lascivious under the clean and immaculate totalitarian styling that services our mojos with a very welcome upgrade.

She may curtsey next to your aisle seat in the manner of an acquiescent cocktail waitress, delivering champagne and hot towels, leaning forward to operate your chair back mechanism or aiding, geisha-like, with the secretion of your folding table as you prepare for landing. But you also know that she has the authorisation to bang on the door like a bad cop if you spend too much time in the loo, or zip-tie your wrists to the arm rests if you start behaving... disobediently.

On the ground, livery-centric fantasies can be regulated. But add to the equation the hi-octane glamour of the skies; the gently choreographed regime of the emergency exit demonstration; the coquettish twitch of the dividing curtain; the complimentary booze; the intense confinement of the aircraft; the unavoidable proximity of strictly tailored human form playing frottage with passenger duds in the constricted gangways; the heady, lawless, mile-high detachment of the skies and you have the libidinous recipe for a cabin-shaped, jet-set priapism. Just thinking about it makes me want to return to my seat and secure my safety belt. 

For the full article by Simon Mills, get this month's issue of Wallpaper* (138), out now.

Condor Berlin 2000 - 2002

Condor Berlin 2000 - 2002

(Image credit: Photography by Philippe Vogelenzang)

PanAm 1960s

PanAm 1960s

(Image credit: Photography by Philippe Vogelenzang)

Aserca 1990-2005

Aserca 1990-2005

(Image credit: Photography by Philippe Vogelenzang)

Delta Airlines 1958

Delta Airlines 1958

(Image credit: Photography by Philippe Vogelenzang)

Corsair 1990s-2002

Corsair 1990s-2002

(Image credit: Photography by Philippe Vogelenzang)

Air West 1970s

Air West 1970s

(Image credit: Photography by Philippe Vogelenzang)

Cebu Pacific 2001-2003

Cebu Pacific 2001-2003

(Image credit: Photography by Philippe Vogelenzang)

Aerolíneas Argentinas 1993-2003

Aerolíneas Argentinas 1993-2003

(Image credit: Photography by Philippe Vogelenzang)