In need of validation in a narcissistic world? Reflect on the power of mirrors

We have a primal urge to self-reflect. Mirrors are thought to be as old as humankind. Their material composition has evolved from watery surfaces via various hand-polished stones and metals to glass, but their function remains unchanged: to deliver the image of its onlooker.

The mirror is more than just a reflective surface, though. It is one of the more symbolically loaded objects that we use in daily life. From Narcissus and Snow White to the Candyman, we are raised to beware the tempting, darker powers that lurk behind our reflection. Mirrors are supernatural portals to other dimensions with dangerous consequences. In some folklore, if a baby happened upon its reflection, it would grow up to have a stutter, and if a woman looked into a mirror just after giving birth, she would see her child on its deathbed.

These sound like patriarchal ruses, designed for fear and control. Yet still today, it is not unknown for people to cover a mirror in the presence of a dying person, lest their soul get trapped within it. An afterlife spent in Ettore Sottsass’ ‘Gli Specchi di Dioniso’ for Glas Italia might be a pretty, pleasant purgatory. Why do we crave our reflections so?

Is it only a desire to see ourselves as others see us, to adjust ourselves as we’d like to be seen, and to check we don’t have anything in our teeth? In this regard, mirrors are our friends – that breed of blunt, empathetically challenged confidante who delivers only truths. Herein lies the only real magic of the mirror: it does not lie. It lays our faces, wrinkles, moods and emotions bare for us to contemplate and, if we have strength, to reflect more deeply upon. We see change, tiredness, decay, good skin days and bad haircuts. We show up for ourselves in a mirror. And while that might sound cute, consider the fright you get when your phone camera catches you unawares.

Have you ever spoken to your reflection and told it that you love it, warts and all? Look into your eyes, not around the eyes, and give it a go. The gods won’t smite you for your vanity, we’re fairly sure. It’s no replacement for therapy, but a little self-love direct to the soul is a nice way to spend a moment in the bathroom. And, over time, we may begin to slough-off the inherited mistruths of millennia that to look at and love oneself is something of which we should be ashamed. Remember to check over your shoulder for vampires first.