‘I didn't have time to prepare for motherhood – not like that’s really possible,’ says Andi Galdi Vinko. ‘I was busy living, loving and building my career. So when the storm arrived I was quite shocked by my vulnerability and my incapacity.’
This opaque sense of shock and quotidian trauma felt to some degree by all new parents has taken shape in Galdi Vinko’s photography book, Sorry I Gave Birth I Disappeared But Now I’m Back, published by Trolley Books. In a visual diary of those early months, the Hungarian photographer juxtaposes the mundane with the momentous in a visual mash-up of everything from stitches to blood, milk and midnight Google searches.
More figurative imagery sits alongside the photo diary elements in a reflection of the contradictions that define motherhood itself. ‘These contradictions are the ones that made this whole project so exciting,’ Galdi Vinko adds.
‘Whenever I felt like I finally knew something, a new challenge appeared right away. As I write to [arts journalist] Charlotte Jansen in our email exchange in the book: “It is a constant negotiation between your needs and theirs. Between what you think you can do and what you actually are capable of doing.” And also I had to come to terms with the fact that I can't be a perfect mother. I can be my best but that's it.’
Galdi Vinko originally began taking the photographs as a touchstone for herself; as the chaos around her found a semblance of order, the images gradually became stylised, imbued with the creativity temporarily eclipsed by new motherhood. ‘I took a lot of photos of my friends’ bodies and babies – I am not a documentary photographer, so I can’t not direct an image,’ she says.
‘The combination of some of the original docu-like photos and the later more abstract versions of either humans or nature was part of the whole storytelling for me. Later, when creating the layout of the book, we also played a lot with the pairing of some of the nature-created abstractions with the honest and raw representation of parenthood.’
The images themselves may be unflinching in their examination of both the physical and emotional trauma inflicted by a new baby, but when viewed alongside more traditionally picture-perfect moments – a toddler’s first steps, the glorious thigh rolls of a gurgling baby – they become imbued with sharp bathos.
‘I'm used to always solving every situation and in this one, I just felt like I didn't have the tools,’ says Galdi Vinko. ‘So like always I used my camera to help myself get through the hard times, the questions, the dilemmas. I felt like the way I imagined motherhood was very different from my subconscious influences – mainly paintings of the Madonna, and films done by men. I thought it would be easy. Natural. Like that's the purpose of a woman.’
INFORMATION
Sorry I Gave Birth I Disappeared But Now I'm Back, by Andi Galdi Vinko, is published by Trolley Books
trolleybooks.com
-
Jenny Saville’s major exhibition at the National Portrait Gallery is raw, powerful and sublimeFifty works, from the course of the artist’s career, are brought together for ‘Jenny Saville: The Anatomy of Painting’ in London
-
Waymo expands in California with its sights set on New YorkIf you live on the eastside of LA, you can now catch a Waymo to work
-
With an ode to Italy, Homme Plissé Issey Miyake brings its brand of fashion magic to Florence’s Pitti UomoMarking the start of a new nomadic way of showing for the Japanese label, Homme Plissé Issey Miyake held its S/S 2026 show at Florence’s Villa Medicea della Petraia as part of Pitti Uomo last night (18 June) with a collection inspired by the colours and textures of Italy
-
The gayest love story ever told: Jeremy Atherton Lin's memoir is a tribute to homeIn 'Deep House: The Gayest Love Story Ever Told', Jeremy Atherton Lin mixes memoir with a historical deep-dive into marriage equlaity
-
The glory years of the Cannes Film Festival are captured in a new photo book‘Cannes’ by Derek Ridgers looks back on the photographer's time at the Cannes Film Festival between 1984 and 1996
-
Taschen’s sexy record covers are hitting all the right notesTaschen has been through 50 years of album art for its latest tome, ‘Sexy Record Covers’
-
‘Dressed to Impress’ captures the vivid world of everyday fashion in the 1950s and 1960sA new photography book from The Anonymous Project showcases its subjects when they’re dressed for best, posing for events and celebrations unknown
-
Daniel Arsham’s new monograph collates the works of the auto-obsessed American artist‘Arsham Motorsport’ is two volumes of inspiration, process and work, charting artist Daniel Arsham’s oeuvre inspired by the icons and forms of the automotive industry
-
Era-defining photographer David Bailey guides us through the 1980s in a new tome not short of shoulder pads and lycraFrom Yves Saint Laurent to Princess Diana, London photographer David Bailey dives into his 1980s archive in a new book by Taschen
-
Inside Joan Didion’s unseen diary of personal relationships and post-therapy notesA newly discovered diary by Joan Didion is soon to be published. Titled 'Notes to John', the journal documents her relationship with her daughter, husband, alcoholism, and depression
-
Carsten Höller’s new Book of Games: 336 playful pastimes for the bold and the boredArtist Carsten Höller invites readers to step out of their comfort zone with a series of subversive games
