As seems to happen for a few years each decade, the dinner party has sashayed back into the spotlight. Right now, when public life is just a plague of smartphones and anxiety, being behind closed doors in a home with friends can feel thrilling. The rules have changed, mind. With party season already upon us, we have a few words of advice for contemporary hosts and guests.
How many guests?
Eight to ten people are optimal for genuine conviviality: it’s the smallest number that can feel like a party and the largest number that can have a group conversation and still break away for subsidiary gossip without being rude. On invitation, inform guests who else is coming – knowing who you’re spending an evening with in advance means you can mentally prepare to be your best, or most appropriate, self.
What good guests bring
We are increasingly of the opinion that good guests bring food not booze. Shop shelves have never been so laden with small brands offering every type of cuisine, so introduce your host to your favourite Malaysian chocolates, Scottish salami or Amazonian insect.
The table
Hosts, do not ‘tablescape’. In fact, never utter that word again. Laying a table in your own home for Instagram plummets new depths of social dystopia.
The food
Cook food that makes sense for a home, rather than a restaurant, so serve your guests pie or stew and avoid any stress or pretension. (If you’re a bit of a fearful cook, ordering food in is also fine, so long as it stands up to the journey.) People tend to remember the fun they’ve had more than the food they’ve eaten, and we’re living in times where showing off some knife skills feels sad in a Patrick Bateman psycho kind of way.
The mood
Light a few more candles than you think is necessary, particularly on your dining table. Illuminate humans, not space. And let people play with the wax. Play music from the era when your attendees were in their early twenties, carefree and capable of debauchery. We’re not huge fans of nostalgia, but a good dinner party gets better with a heady shot of aural reminiscence. Before midnight, smoke or vape outside or next to open windows.
One no-no
Finally, don’t speak to Alexa or ask Chat GPT anything. A dinner party is an enduring, endearing human saga; we lay bare the messy vulnerabilities of ourselves and our domestic habitats for others to witness and partake in – everyone goes to bed satiated, seen and loved. Leave the robots out of it.
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